Be assertive without being aggressive
With Assertive Communication: powerful Assertive communication"
Have you been in the space where you wanted to say what you thought or what you needed but lost for any way to do it without being aggressive or passive? You are not alone. And in this blog post, we will talk about how to be assertive without aggression primarily through good non-verbal communication skills and body language. It's not easy for many people
Being assertive is an important skill that can greatly improve both your personal and professional relationships. It gives you a voice in expressing your ideas, feelings, and needs in an overt and brave manner, while at the same time respecting others' rights and opinions. Practicing assertive communication can help you become more confident and stress-free and make you achieve your goals with less effort.
Differences between assertiveness and aggression: Understand
Assertiveness is the golden mean
When you are being assertive, you are able to communicate your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a candid, open, and respectful way. When you're assertive, you:
✅ Defend your rights and beliefs✅ Respect other people's opinions and boundaries
✅ Have clear and assertive messages
✅ Listen attentively to others
✅ Look for win-win solutions.
Aggression, on the other hand, includes those assertive behaviors that seem to express your own feelings and opinions in such a way that they do not respect the rights of others. Aggressive communication always:
♦️ Uses manipulation or intimidation
♦️ Includes shouting or aggressive body posture
♦️ leads to win lose out comes.
if you are aware of different communication styles, it will help you stay assertive without carousing into aggressive territory.
Two Basic Assertiveness Non-Verbal Communication Skills
When suspecting speech, language assumes primary importance, but other factors such as eye contact and openness affect the way the message is being read. . most studies indicate that as much as 93%of commination is non verbal ,and body languages plays a crucial role in assertive commination.
always make strong eye contact for few second at time: this shows confidences and presence. avoid staring at them:
☑️facial expression: Your face should match your words. Avoid looking aggressive or too cold. Aim for a calm, attentive expression.
☑️ posture: the way you stand or the way you sit, with your shoulders backward this squat shape is super totally confident but not intimidating at all
☑️ movements: keep hands open and relaxed as you make points.
Another thing to consider on the voice: Calm, clear, measured, not intimidating, or looking down on somebody.
"Respect for personal space : Everyone should be given enough room to feel comfortable while communicating."
These non-verbal cues have the potential to build bridges in assertive communication.
developing assertiveness : tips and techniques
Earlier we discussed how important nonverbal commination is in showing the difference between assertiveness and aggression .
practice active listening
Assertiveness is just as much about communicating self-awareness as it is about self. Active listening embraces:
✅ Taking Full Measure must-The act of giving your full attention to the person speaking.✅ Indicating that you're listening with your body(eye contact, nodding).
✅ Checking for understanding-using paraphrasing.
Asking clarifying questions.
Active listening shows respect for the opinions of others and may lead to more positive and productive dialogue.
Learn How to Say No
many have problem of saying no. they fear ,on one end , that they will puts someone or , on another, that they will seem unhelpful, however its impressive to learn how to say :no: without hesitation in order to preserve you boundaries .ways to do it include:
A plain statement:
so this is a short one its helpful I have very busy week of deadliness sneak up on me already and I'm trying not overcommit to.
Keep in mind that it’s okay to say no; doing so does not make you a bad person
Using the Broken Record Technique
There are times when we come across someone who wants to push and manipulate us. The basic underlying principle of the broken record technique is to be calm and insistent upon whatever is being said and never get defensive or aggressive about it. For instance:
Other person: “Come on, one drink won’t kill you.”
You: "No, thank you. I'm not drinking tonight.”
Other person: “Stop being a party pooper. Everybody is drinking."
This prevents for a reevaluation of the setup, that is, you standing firm, while also allowing you to stay strong without pissing on the flame.
Using Body Language to Be Assertive
So, as assertively as possible, the impact must be on non-verbal's. Here are a few specific pointers to master the body language:
Power posing
One way to do this is to strike a power pose for a couple of minutes before entering into a situation you need to be assertive in. Science supports people changing their bodies even temporarily to boost body confidence, such as adopting a power stance (like Wonder Woman) to instantly feel more powerful and less stressed.
Mirroring
Mirroring is a technique to build rapport by subtly reflecting the other person's body language or tone, making communication more effective. Just be careful: Don't overdo it; awkward mirroring generally comes off as disingenuous.
Managing Nervous Habits
Be aware of any nervous habits you may have, like fidgeting or giving him/her that look. Instead, practice replacing those habits with more confident body language (for example, relaxed arms, hands hanging casually at your sides, your eyes fixated on who is talking).
Using touch in the correct way is a powerful means of assertiveness in some cultures and contexts. However, since touch has profound implications for human connection, one must make a special effort to be sensitive to cultural differences and personal boundaries.
How to overcome barriers to assertive communication?
Becoming more assistive is a process and you some times might struggle with it. read below for a number of common barriers . tips for overcoming each are provided.
These types of people often avoid assertive communication because they perceive it as an invitation to confrontation. Always remember that assertive communication concerns more about your right to be heard on an issue than about your right to win an argument. Start asserting yourself on trivial issues and gradually build yourself up to talk about more serious events on which you would like to assert yourself.
Low self-esteem:
If you struggle with low self-esteem, you may find it tough to speak up for yourself. You also would want to start restoring your self-confidence by talking to yourself positively; it helps to form small, achievable goals and achieve them; it helps to agree with all your strengths and accomplishments.
Cultural differences:
Assertive communication differs across cultures. Recognize cultural values and communicate accordingly, but that must never be at the expense of your value system and boundaries.
Management of aggression:
Even with assertive and calm communication in some contexts, you will sometimes meet aggression. In such situations:
Maintain composure
Use "I" statements to reaffirm your points
Walk away if necessary for emotions to cool down
📝 discussion: the skill of assertiveness
Being assertive does not happen quickly; it is a painstaking process with a certain degree of practice. You should not expect your assertiveness to develop overnight. Set small improvements with fortitude in your daily encounters, building up to the harder ones.
You are going to notice a steady increase in self-confidence, less stress, and improvements in relationships as you focus more on practicing assertive communication. Continue on this growth journey and seek help among family members, friends, or professional contacts whenever you feel you need some advice along the way.
It is not enough to learn assertiveness merely; you must learn to assert your true self. So, let your voice be strong, let it be heard, and let it be admirable that assertiveness is wherein one finds strength.
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